[Despite wanting to relax slightly, Felix is cautious when he sinks next to Dimitri on the bed, a little guilty at the way he's on edge with the aura emanating from him. As if he's a beast waiting to pounce--not on Felix, but something that feels just as close.
Felix takes the dagger from Dimitri, and his pensive expression is not at all faked when he gazes upon it, considering the same turmoil churning his stomach once another puzzle piece falls into place.]
...Yes. It's the same one you gave to that girl in the kingdom before she left.
That's right. She was being forced to return to the empire by her uncle — I could tell that she did not want to go. That she was afraid of him. We were both children, powerless... so I gave her that dagger, hoping it would give her the strength to cut her own path.
[Bitterly, he laughs. He'd hoped that path would lead back to him, but not like this. Goddess, not like this...]
That's not all. The woman you all knew as my mother was actually my stepmother. Giving birth to a child with the crest of Blaiddyd when you do not have one yourself is difficult. My birth mother died when I was still an infant. It was kept quiet, though, because my stepmother was born in the empire.
[Felix listens through the revelation in silence, a confirmation of some things he knew and not. He lowers his gaze at the mention of cutting through, not exactly the same meaning he wished to ascribe to the gift he gave Dimitri just yesterday, but it's still a feeling he recognizes, sympathizes with. It's what has his heart twisting in momentary jealousy before he squashes that feeling, moving to lay a hand over Dimitri's.]
...I see. So you think... the Flame Emperor has something to do with her.
[Dimitri briefly squeezes his hand, but he draws back and turns to his nightstand afterward, opening the drawer up. Among the things he kept of Patricia's is a locket, one that he carefully opens and holds out to Felix. Though the portrait inside is of a toddler, those big, pale violet eyes are unmistakable.]
I found out later that my mother was the birth mother of the imperial crown princess. And... as soon as I saw her face in this locket after she passed on, I knew that the girl I gave that dagger to was one and the same.
[Felix takes a peek, and while the girl in the picture should look unfamiliar by all means, he has been the recipient of that piercing gaze enough times not to mistake it.]
Isn't that... Edelgard?
[The surprise in Felix's tone is not at all faked, this discovery all too new to him. Is this why Dimitri took everything so personally back in the day...?]
[Dimitri starts to squeeze his hand around the locket, only to think better of it. Whatever else happens, this was still his mother's.]
She doesn't know who I am. But as of the beginning of this year, she still had that dagger. She drew it to defend herself that night the professor saved us. If she kept it all that time, then surely, she wouldn't just lose it now —
[His voice cracks slightly.]
But how could she? There's no way she could work with those monsters, much less become their leader!
[Back then, Dimitri's eyes had seemed far away. Oftentimes Felix found himself wondering why that was the case, and now, seeing that look on Dimitri again makes everything click, in a manner that twists a knife into his chest as he sucks in a breath.
Dimitri's heart has been with Edelgard first. It's foolish to be jealous of that fact, but Felix finds himself dwelling on that ugly emotion a little more than is necessary, even if his present reality suggests this isn't a worry, especially with bigger threats looming in the horizon.
He swallows, taking in another breath before speaking.]
There... must be more to the story than we're seeing.
[It's all he's able to say, with any honest elaborations far off his reach unless Dimitri could make sense of them on his own.]
Didn't she say there wouldn't be any salvation for those who did such things in Duscur?
[Dimitri had been starting to get himself wound up, but what Felix says gives him pause. Is that what she said? He just heard "Duscur" and snapped, shameful as that is. But now that he's thinking back on it, that's true...]
Then... you think she may be trying to do something from within? That isn't impossible, but even so... I suppose the Flame Emperor has never directly lifted a blade against any of us...
[If that's the case, she's playing a very dangerous game.]
[Because he's watched her, of course. Quite a bit those first few months, wondering if she remembered, if she would ever say anything. But she never did, and ultimately he decided that was for the best. After all, if even Felix could push him away, then she undoubtedly would too.
But now, Felix is here, and Edelgard...
No. He still can't do it. Dimitri lifts that dagger again, passing it to Felix.]
Would you mind giving that to Professor Byleth so that he can return it to her? He saw it that night, too.
[Taking out a handkerchief, he begins to wrap it around the blade and sets it aside on the nightstand for now. Byleth'll know what to do with it. Better than anyone.
Once that's done, he shifts to lean on Dimitri's shoulder, a little shy as he hides his face.]
[Finally, the rigidly straight line of his spine softens up. Dimitri exhales slowly, shifting to wrap his arm around Felix and hold him close. He nuzzles his face into Felix's hair, trying to get himself to calm enough to consider sleep.]
...I wanted to spend these last few months with you, [he says softly, unable to keep the heartbreak out of his tone.]
But I think... that would be inadvisable considering the Flame Emperor's identity. I will send out for the financial records for the past few years and our current trade deals. Strengthening our position cannot wait. So... until they get here...
[Dimitri pulls Felix onto his lap, circling both arms around him instead.]
Stay with me as much as you can whenever we aren't in class. Please.
[There's no point when Cornelia's about to stage a coup. Again, the words are locked in his throat, a painful lump that Felix forces himself to swallow down as he straddles Dimitri's lap, meeting Dimitri's equally sorrowful gaze.]
...I will.
[It's the most he could do now, given the side he truly belongs to, and always did.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cynicfelixity) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
amewsbox2020-01-09 12:53 pm
no subject
Felix takes the dagger from Dimitri, and his pensive expression is not at all faked when he gazes upon it, considering the same turmoil churning his stomach once another puzzle piece falls into place.]
...Yes. It's the same one you gave to that girl in the kingdom before she left.
[The same one Felix helped pick out, in fact.]
no subject
[Bitterly, he laughs. He'd hoped that path would lead back to him, but not like this. Goddess, not like this...]
That's not all. The woman you all knew as my mother was actually my stepmother. Giving birth to a child with the crest of Blaiddyd when you do not have one yourself is difficult. My birth mother died when I was still an infant. It was kept quiet, though, because my stepmother was born in the empire.
no subject
...I see. So you think... the Flame Emperor has something to do with her.
no subject
I found out later that my mother was the birth mother of the imperial crown princess. And... as soon as I saw her face in this locket after she passed on, I knew that the girl I gave that dagger to was one and the same.
no subject
Isn't that... Edelgard?
[The surprise in Felix's tone is not at all faked, this discovery all too new to him. Is this why Dimitri took everything so personally back in the day...?]
no subject
[Dimitri starts to squeeze his hand around the locket, only to think better of it. Whatever else happens, this was still his mother's.]
She doesn't know who I am. But as of the beginning of this year, she still had that dagger. She drew it to defend herself that night the professor saved us. If she kept it all that time, then surely, she wouldn't just lose it now —
[His voice cracks slightly.]
But how could she? There's no way she could work with those monsters, much less become their leader!
no subject
Dimitri's heart has been with Edelgard first. It's foolish to be jealous of that fact, but Felix finds himself dwelling on that ugly emotion a little more than is necessary, even if his present reality suggests this isn't a worry, especially with bigger threats looming in the horizon.
He swallows, taking in another breath before speaking.]
There... must be more to the story than we're seeing.
[It's all he's able to say, with any honest elaborations far off his reach unless Dimitri could make sense of them on his own.]
Didn't she say there wouldn't be any salvation for those who did such things in Duscur?
no subject
Then... you think she may be trying to do something from within? That isn't impossible, but even so... I suppose the Flame Emperor has never directly lifted a blade against any of us...
[If that's the case, she's playing a very dangerous game.]
no subject
[Alone. That's what it sounded like back then, though perhaps with the professor by her side, maybe, just maybe...]
Sometimes... I also catch her having this look on her face. As if she were carrying the world's burden upon her shoulders. It may be related to that.
[No, it definitely is.]
no subject
[Because he's watched her, of course. Quite a bit those first few months, wondering if she remembered, if she would ever say anything. But she never did, and ultimately he decided that was for the best. After all, if even Felix could push him away, then she undoubtedly would too.
But now, Felix is here, and Edelgard...
No. He still can't do it. Dimitri lifts that dagger again, passing it to Felix.]
Would you mind giving that to Professor Byleth so that he can return it to her? He saw it that night, too.
no subject
I will.
[Taking out a handkerchief, he begins to wrap it around the blade and sets it aside on the nightstand for now. Byleth'll know what to do with it. Better than anyone.
Once that's done, he shifts to lean on Dimitri's shoulder, a little shy as he hides his face.]
...For now, let's get some rest.
no subject
...I wanted to spend these last few months with you, [he says softly, unable to keep the heartbreak out of his tone.]
But I think... that would be inadvisable considering the Flame Emperor's identity. I will send out for the financial records for the past few years and our current trade deals. Strengthening our position cannot wait. So... until they get here...
[Dimitri pulls Felix onto his lap, circling both arms around him instead.]
Stay with me as much as you can whenever we aren't in class. Please.
no subject
...I will.
[It's the most he could do now, given the side he truly belongs to, and always did.]