[Felix barely hears Byleth's words, eyes wide open in stupefied horror as Sothis' warning sinks in, cooler than the winter chill that seeps through his bones.
He shuts his agape mouth, clutching the ring through his thin shirt as if that would root him in a certain blissful reality and not one that is threatening to crush him under its formidable weight.
Chewing the inside of his lower lip, he raises his gaze to meet Sothis', hating the mist that coalesces over his eyes.]
...You think I might die if I try to change history.
[Once upon a time, he would have considered that possibility without a second thought. Of fulfilling his purpose as the king's aegis, as he should have. But after knowing what it is that caused Dimitri's agony, after knowing how it is like to be left behind, he simply can't subject Dimitri to that curse again.
Especially not when he's promised his "always" to Dimitri.]
[Sothis winces at the look on his face. This must seem like a cruel joke — to dangle hope in front of him only for it to be snatched away.
"I am afraid so. Not right away, but almost certainly by the time you reach the moment you traveled back from. The wider the gulf between the reality you know and the one that exists now, the higher the chance you will not live past that day."
Even saving Jeralt could potentially do it. She thinks not, though. Jeralt has done his best to slide under the radar for quite some time, and with his close ties to Byleth (not to mention that he used the Divine Pulse at the moment of his would-be death), any backlash from that particular change is likely to fall on Byleth and Sothis. They'll make it through, Byleth was born from one that was meant to become her vessel in the first place.
[Until the moment he traveled back from... that would mean he only has seven years left should he continue on this path.
Lengthy as it sounds, Felix knows well how time can fly. And when it comes to Dimitri, it feels like he could spend eternity with him and it wouldn't be enough.
Seven years... just seven years is too short, barely even scratches the surface, especially with the turmoil they have to deal with in the horizon.]
It could be that Dimitri isn't fated to die.
[Oh no. Are those tears dripping onto his lap? The fingers that brush past his eyes seem to suggest so, embarrassing as it is to cry in front of these two, of all people.]
How can you be so certain that's his destiny?
[Of course, it doesn't sound like Sothis would be joking about this, but there's something damning about the authority behind her words, one that he bristles at, doesn't want to accept despite the power he senses behind them.]
["Your existence here, your memories of what was and will be. 'Fate' is time's memory. You being here now, coming back like this — it is like taking a rock from a river and throwing it upstream. Right now, you are simply being pushed along with that stream. If nothing changes, you will continue to travel downstream until the natural end of your life. But if the entire stream shifts its course and the rock tries to travel where it once was, it will come to a stop. It will no longer be in the stream."
An imperfect metaphor, but the best she can come up with when her own memories are so fragmented.]
[Felix's chest tightens with that confirmation, his own tears a steady stream he lets flow before he sniffles and wipes them away with his hand.]
It's not a stream I wish to return to.
[Though the possibility of dying along the way is terrifying as it is. Not as much the prospect as it is leaving Dimitri behind, though maybe, just maybe, he could find a purpose beyond Felix should he pass on ahead of Dimitri...
No, who is he kidding? Even if Dimitri undoubtedly loves his country, Felix is too painfully aware of what happens to Dimitri when something happens to Felix. The way he stayed by his side the first time he got injured in Remire, and the way he defied Byleth's orders when he fell earlier... Perhaps in the future Dimitri may be able to temper it, but now...
It's a change that's in motion, one that Felix himself has help set.]
But I can't... simply leave him behind either and let everything run its course as it did before.
[Felix swallows, trying to clear his mind with a small breath. It doesn't do much, though he does manage to glance at Sothis and Byleth again, hoping they have some answers he does not have that moment.]
[With a fragmented existence, there's only so much Sothis can do. She doesn't know how to avoid fate any better than Felix does — perhaps if she did, she wouldn't be in this state to begin with.
For Byleth, though, all these concepts are newer. He can't intuit the natural laws of time like Sothis can, therefore they aren't taken into consideration as he mulls the problem over. He gets up to pace a bit, grabbing a handkerchief for Felix before returning to his bedside.]
Before making any decisions, you need to identify the point of no return. What happens to him?
[Felix takes that handkerchief, grateful for something to freshen up with slightly.]
After the battle of Garreg Mach, he returned to the capital. But he got caught in a coup staged by Cornelia and was detained. Dedue managed to rescue him from execution after six months, but he hasn't been the same since.
[Felix shudders, closing his eyes briefly before letting his hands rest over his lap.]
She might have been gathering them for a while and given how quickly everything went down, they've likely have been in place for quite some time already.
[Felix sighs, worry twisting his features.]
Cornelia framed Dimitri for killing his uncle, the regent.
I see. It would be possible to avoid it if he refrains from returning to the capital, but... unless he is coronated, I suspect the kingdom would immediately fold to the empire under its current ruler.
[Folding his arms, Byleth hums thoughtfully.]
Assassinating Cornelia before his return is also a possibility, but we can't know for certain if she's the mastermind or just a pawn. Given the timing, I suspect the latter.
[In which case killing her off would accomplish nothing other than replacing the figurehead, and said figurehead might opt to kill Dimitri off sooner. He shakes his head.]
I don't think there's a way to guarantee his survival if those circumstances are changed. Escaping an execution is quite the feat.
She has not given anyone reason to be suspicious until then, [Felix says, unable to keep the bitterness off his tone.] I'm... not sure if I could even stop Dimitri from returning...
[Given how his throat seizes up whenever he's tempted to blurt something out with regard to the future.
Felix bites down on his lower lip, not at all liking Byleth's conclusion.]
Is that the only choice? [he asks despite knowing the answer.] Is all that suffering truly necessary...?
Maybe, maybe not. But if 'fate' is a memory, then he is fated to live through that trial unless someone with outside knowledge intervenes. It's the only method that has a survival rate of 100%.
[He glances to Sothis then.]
Correct?
[Sothis sighs heavily.
"Unfortunately, yes. What would you propose after he escapes?"]
Felix knows the exact date of the execution. He just has to be in the capital when he's escaping and make sure to only come into contact with him after Dedue has him out of confinement. Your relationship is different from before, isn't it? Do you really think he has no hope of recovery if you stay with him?
[Felix shakes his head, guilt eating at his chest at those words. If only he had loved Dimitri more the first time around, perhaps this situation would never have had to come to pass...]
Then... I'll play a more active part in the rescue, then.
[It probably is for the best as the professor puts it. Considering it's the path with least unknowns and would likely ensure both their survival for the time being.]
How about you, Professor? What are you going to do?
Just be careful not to make too many changes until he's out of the city. If he dies early on, then that might shift history all on its own.
[And it would be a terrible waste if neither one of them survives, wouldn't it?]
I'm not sure yet. If possible, I'd like to change Edelgard's path... what would happen to me?
[He turns to Sothis again, only looking mildly curious instead of afraid.
"You are my vessel, and you are capable of shifting time all on your own. I believe you would live on. Despite the knowledge of a possible future, you are still from this time, after all. If you are the one to enact the change, it may even provide some protection for the little one... though there would still be no guarantee."]
[It's eerie to see Byleth radiating calm rather than any of the emotional turmoil making Felix a little sick to his stomach, but then again, should he be surprised? Byleth has been quite the stoic--only ever truly shaken by the deaths of those closest to him.
Jeralt, then Edelgard.
Still, the possibility of averting a future as cursed as the one he came from and maybe, just maybe, living through it... The way it's phrased isn't very reassuring and he might as well operate unknowing of it, but it's still better than nothing.]
That would put us on opposite sides of the war.
[A simple statement of fact.]
Communication... won't be easy. Provided you don't disappear the way you did the last time.
Ideally, I'll be able to prevent most of it from happening, but yes — we may end up opposing each other temporarily. If I move to fight her as I did in your memory, I have no chance of changing things. I have no intention to allow her to seize the continent by force, though, and will turn my blade on her if I must.
[But he doesn't want to. He really, truly doesn't want to, so much so that thinking about it happening makes him sick. Grimacing, he continues:]
You know Dimitri far better than I do. It would be better to be able to communicate, but I think these are tasks we can carry out on our own for the most part. We still have five years before the battle where he's fated to die — make your decision sometime before then and let me know, provided I don't disappear as you said.
[Not that the knowledge of what's to come gives Felix any comfort.
Felix casts his gaze towards the window, pensive.]
I'm no longer feeling ill. [Physically for the most part, even if his stomach awkwardly flops when his thoughts drift towards what has just been discussed.] Would it be fine for me to return to my room?
[Dimitri... must have been sent back by Byleth. Likely not getting any sleep, despite Byleth no doubt telling him to.]
[Felix nods, and once Byleth and Sothis have left the room, he proceeds to tug on his vest. Other than that, it seems that his belongings have been shipped back to this room, so he follows after--
--Only to find someone waiting by the stairs as he makes his way out.]
Dimitri...?
[Puzzlement still creases his expression, despite the fact that this shouldn't really surprise him given the way Dimitri frets.]
[Byleth might have ordered him to get some rest (that he needs, no doubt), but that didn't stop Dimitri from lingering nearby, waiting for Byleth to leave. Instead, Felix walks down first, and he looks rather surprised to see him up and about.]
Felix...
[Unheeding of anyone around them, he crosses the distance between them and scoops him into a hug.]
[A soft noise escapes Felix at the hug, completely unexpected given where they are right now. But could he blame Dimitri, really? After that scare Felix no doubt gave him...
Giving up for the moment, Felix wraps his arms around Dimitri's waist in a tentative motion, leaning in despite the guilt that twists his stomach at the fact that he's indulging in Dimitri's at all.]
...and I am sorry I scared you, [he says softly, lifting one hand from Felix's back to cradle his head instead. It's undeniably intimate, but it's late right now and surely no one will pass by.]
[It definitely is a lot more intimate for something they were planning to keep under wraps, but Felix does not exactly pride himself on his willpower that moment as he sinks into that embrace, squeezing as if that would keep Dimitri here, away from walking down the path he witnessed him tread.
But a sense of shame does kick in eventually, and he tries to extract himself from the embrace a few moments later. But Dimitri holds on as if he's having similar thoughts as Felix, so he just sighs and remains where he is.]
It's late. We should go back to our rooms.
[Is all he says in the way of that, content despite the fact that he should worry about where they are a bit more.]
Most everyone is in bed, so... just a little while longer, please.
[How pathetic. Even being separated from Felix for a few hours while knowing he was unwell is enough to make him want to cling like this. It's an indulge he allows himself regardless of how embarrassing it is, lowering his face to Felix's shoulder and turning it toward the crook of his neck, feeling his warmth and taking in his scent until enough of his anxiety has faded to pull back. He tucks a stray lock of hair behind Felix's ear before drawing away entirely, cheeks flushed a light pink.]
[If Felix's earlier thoughts didn't drive it home already, the way Dimitri just clings as if tomorrow may not come more or less confirms what may become of Dimitri should Felix cease to exist in some manner.
Finding a way for both of them to pull through is non-negotiable at this point. It's a must, for Felix as much as it is for Dimitri, tall task as it is.
Felix lowers his gaze, a little pink himself after that tender touch.]
We... can talk more later. In my room, or yours.
[Is this Felix's way of saying he doesn't mind sleeping over? Yes, yes it is.]
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amewsbox2020-01-09 12:53 pm
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He shuts his agape mouth, clutching the ring through his thin shirt as if that would root him in a certain blissful reality and not one that is threatening to crush him under its formidable weight.
Chewing the inside of his lower lip, he raises his gaze to meet Sothis', hating the mist that coalesces over his eyes.]
...You think I might die if I try to change history.
[Once upon a time, he would have considered that possibility without a second thought. Of fulfilling his purpose as the king's aegis, as he should have. But after knowing what it is that caused Dimitri's agony, after knowing how it is like to be left behind, he simply can't subject Dimitri to that curse again.
Especially not when he's promised his "always" to Dimitri.]
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"I am afraid so. Not right away, but almost certainly by the time you reach the moment you traveled back from. The wider the gulf between the reality you know and the one that exists now, the higher the chance you will not live past that day."
Even saving Jeralt could potentially do it. She thinks not, though. Jeralt has done his best to slide under the radar for quite some time, and with his close ties to Byleth (not to mention that he used the Divine Pulse at the moment of his would-be death), any backlash from that particular change is likely to fall on Byleth and Sothis. They'll make it through, Byleth was born from one that was meant to become her vessel in the first place.
But Felix, major crest or no, was not.]
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Lengthy as it sounds, Felix knows well how time can fly. And when it comes to Dimitri, it feels like he could spend eternity with him and it wouldn't be enough.
Seven years... just seven years is too short, barely even scratches the surface, especially with the turmoil they have to deal with in the horizon.]
It could be that Dimitri isn't fated to die.
[Oh no. Are those tears dripping onto his lap? The fingers that brush past his eyes seem to suggest so, embarrassing as it is to cry in front of these two, of all people.]
How can you be so certain that's his destiny?
[Of course, it doesn't sound like Sothis would be joking about this, but there's something damning about the authority behind her words, one that he bristles at, doesn't want to accept despite the power he senses behind them.]
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An imperfect metaphor, but the best she can come up with when her own memories are so fragmented.]
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It's not a stream I wish to return to.
[Though the possibility of dying along the way is terrifying as it is. Not as much the prospect as it is leaving Dimitri behind, though maybe, just maybe, he could find a purpose beyond Felix should he pass on ahead of Dimitri...
No, who is he kidding? Even if Dimitri undoubtedly loves his country, Felix is too painfully aware of what happens to Dimitri when something happens to Felix. The way he stayed by his side the first time he got injured in Remire, and the way he defied Byleth's orders when he fell earlier... Perhaps in the future Dimitri may be able to temper it, but now...
It's a change that's in motion, one that Felix himself has help set.]
But I can't... simply leave him behind either and let everything run its course as it did before.
[Felix swallows, trying to clear his mind with a small breath. It doesn't do much, though he does manage to glance at Sothis and Byleth again, hoping they have some answers he does not have that moment.]
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For Byleth, though, all these concepts are newer. He can't intuit the natural laws of time like Sothis can, therefore they aren't taken into consideration as he mulls the problem over. He gets up to pace a bit, grabbing a handkerchief for Felix before returning to his bedside.]
Before making any decisions, you need to identify the point of no return. What happens to him?
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After the battle of Garreg Mach, he returned to the capital. But he got caught in a coup staged by Cornelia and was detained. Dedue managed to rescue him from execution after six months, but he hasn't been the same since.
[Felix shudders, closing his eyes briefly before letting his hands rest over his lap.]
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Hmm. How did she gain the support of enough of the kingdom to pull that off...?
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[Felix sighs, worry twisting his features.]
Cornelia framed Dimitri for killing his uncle, the regent.
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[Folding his arms, Byleth hums thoughtfully.]
Assassinating Cornelia before his return is also a possibility, but we can't know for certain if she's the mastermind or just a pawn. Given the timing, I suspect the latter.
[In which case killing her off would accomplish nothing other than replacing the figurehead, and said figurehead might opt to kill Dimitri off sooner. He shakes his head.]
I don't think there's a way to guarantee his survival if those circumstances are changed. Escaping an execution is quite the feat.
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[Given how his throat seizes up whenever he's tempted to blurt something out with regard to the future.
Felix bites down on his lower lip, not at all liking Byleth's conclusion.]
Is that the only choice? [he asks despite knowing the answer.] Is all that suffering truly necessary...?
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[He glances to Sothis then.]
Correct?
[Sothis sighs heavily.
"Unfortunately, yes. What would you propose after he escapes?"]
Felix knows the exact date of the execution. He just has to be in the capital when he's escaping and make sure to only come into contact with him after Dedue has him out of confinement. Your relationship is different from before, isn't it? Do you really think he has no hope of recovery if you stay with him?
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Then... I'll play a more active part in the rescue, then.
[It probably is for the best as the professor puts it. Considering it's the path with least unknowns and would likely ensure both their survival for the time being.]
How about you, Professor? What are you going to do?
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[And it would be a terrible waste if neither one of them survives, wouldn't it?]
I'm not sure yet. If possible, I'd like to change Edelgard's path... what would happen to me?
[He turns to Sothis again, only looking mildly curious instead of afraid.
"You are my vessel, and you are capable of shifting time all on your own. I believe you would live on. Despite the knowledge of a possible future, you are still from this time, after all. If you are the one to enact the change, it may even provide some protection for the little one... though there would still be no guarantee."]
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Jeralt, then Edelgard.
Still, the possibility of averting a future as cursed as the one he came from and maybe, just maybe, living through it... The way it's phrased isn't very reassuring and he might as well operate unknowing of it, but it's still better than nothing.]
That would put us on opposite sides of the war.
[A simple statement of fact.]
Communication... won't be easy. Provided you don't disappear the way you did the last time.
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[But he doesn't want to. He really, truly doesn't want to, so much so that thinking about it happening makes him sick. Grimacing, he continues:]
You know Dimitri far better than I do. It would be better to be able to communicate, but I think these are tasks we can carry out on our own for the most part. We still have five years before the battle where he's fated to die — make your decision sometime before then and let me know, provided I don't disappear as you said.
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[Not that the knowledge of what's to come gives Felix any comfort.
Felix casts his gaze towards the window, pensive.]
I'm no longer feeling ill. [Physically for the most part, even if his stomach awkwardly flops when his thoughts drift towards what has just been discussed.] Would it be fine for me to return to my room?
[Dimitri... must have been sent back by Byleth. Likely not getting any sleep, despite Byleth no doubt telling him to.]
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Yes. Get some rest. We'll speak more at a later date when both of us have had time to think it over more.
[But not too late. By the end of next month at the latest.]
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--Only to find someone waiting by the stairs as he makes his way out.]
Dimitri...?
[Puzzlement still creases his expression, despite the fact that this shouldn't really surprise him given the way Dimitri frets.]
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Felix...
[Unheeding of anyone around them, he crosses the distance between them and scoops him into a hug.]
Thank the goddess.
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Giving up for the moment, Felix wraps his arms around Dimitri's waist in a tentative motion, leaning in despite the guilt that twists his stomach at the fact that he's indulging in Dimitri's at all.]
I'm sorry I scared you.
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[It definitely is a lot more intimate for something they were planning to keep under wraps, but Felix does not exactly pride himself on his willpower that moment as he sinks into that embrace, squeezing as if that would keep Dimitri here, away from walking down the path he witnessed him tread.
But a sense of shame does kick in eventually, and he tries to extract himself from the embrace a few moments later. But Dimitri holds on as if he's having similar thoughts as Felix, so he just sighs and remains where he is.]
It's late. We should go back to our rooms.
[Is all he says in the way of that, content despite the fact that he should worry about where they are a bit more.]
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[How pathetic. Even being separated from Felix for a few hours while knowing he was unwell is enough to make him want to cling like this. It's an indulge he allows himself regardless of how embarrassing it is, lowering his face to Felix's shoulder and turning it toward the crook of his neck, feeling his warmth and taking in his scent until enough of his anxiety has faded to pull back. He tucks a stray lock of hair behind Felix's ear before drawing away entirely, cheeks flushed a light pink.]
I suppose you are right. It is fairly late.
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Finding a way for both of them to pull through is non-negotiable at this point. It's a must, for Felix as much as it is for Dimitri, tall task as it is.
Felix lowers his gaze, a little pink himself after that tender touch.]
We... can talk more later. In my room, or yours.
[Is this Felix's way of saying he doesn't mind sleeping over? Yes, yes it is.]
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