[Well, that's not going to be an easy position to deal with, but Felix will manage. So he gently guides Dimitri to the bed and gives him a clean cloth to chew on.
Kneeling next to his bedside, Felix will attempt to take care of Dimitri's eye once more.]
[It's still not pretty and Dimitri swats his hand away more than once, but like this, he's able to endure the cleaning.
And then immediately lift a hand like he's going to scratch his eye again, but one look at his nails has him letting it thud back against the mattress. Briefly, he wonders if there's any sort of bath here, or at least something to trim his nails with so he doesn't undo all of Felix's work. But he doesn't care enough to ask.]
[It's a tough process, but both of them manage to make it through. Fatigue also starts to catch up with Felix, heavy against his bones as he exhales and sags on his knees, ponders upon Dimitri's listlessness. Nothing at all like the sweet prince he's come to know in the monastery, or the man eager to do right by his people.
But all the same, this is the path Felix chose. And now, it's his job to pull through for both of them. Felix manages a feeble smile, leaning in again to plant a small kiss upon Dimitri's brow before he draws back again.]
...There's a bath you can use later, but I'll go and prepare dinner first.
[After having Felix clean his wounds and then his eye, Dimitri can't help but flinch as he leans in. But when he just presses his lips to his forehead instead he tilts his face up, peering over at Felix like he doesn't know what to think of him.]
Don't go where I can't see you, [he finally says in a small voice. Even though he still just feels numb inside, the thought of losing Felix too makes that numbness ache like frostbitten flesh.]
[A pang of hurt strikes Felix at the odd look Dimitri gives him, nothing at all like the tender glances that would embarrass Felix just a scant six months ago. It's almost like the way things were back in the bridge, where Felix feels like Dimitri would slip away from him any moment...
Felix swallows as Dimitri speaks those words, quick to turn his back as he rubs his eyes before the tears could actually fall. He won't cry. He can't. Not even when relief threatens to devour him whole as much as the reminder that staying with Dimitri back in the monastery has changed things. Even if just a little.]
I won't, [Felix says as he makes his way to the fireplace to boil some water before shifting his attention to the pantry, where the vegetables and meat were for soup he was planning to make.
---
Twenty minutes later, Felix sets the table with two bowls of clear soup, filled mostly with vegetables and a little game. He sets two glasses of water on it too for good measure before he returns to Dimitri's bedside.]
[As Felix moves around the room, Dimitri lies there quietly, eyes closed to let his lids rest. But he opens them every minute or two to find Felix, both relieved when he sees him and grieved by who isn't there with them. It should be Dedue there at the stove now, with Felix here beside him scolding him for pawing at his eye and making it get this bad in the first place. Sometimes, he sees Dedue there with Felix, his armor crushed and his body broken, staring resolutely at the door as if to tell him that he must survive. Endure, if only long enough to seek justice for all those who died at Duscur.
Even Dedue's ghost is gentle. He never howls at him like the others do.
Dimitri sits up when Felix returns, taking the bowl in hand. As he brings it to his face, he can't help but notice the absence of the spice blends Dedue favored. It makes his throat lock up too tight to actually eat, but he'll do his best to drink the broth before setting it aside. He downs the whole glass of water as well, all in silence.]
[At least Dimitri is eating, a small mercy. Felix eats his own cooking without any enthusiasm, downing his glass of water in one gulp as well before he proceeds to refill their glasses. Once Dimitri is done with his bowl, Felix stacks it with his on the table, eyes wandering towards the bath behind the only other door in the room.]
[Nodding, Dimitri moves to sit at a spot in the room where he can see inside the bathroom too, but once he sees it, he realizes Felix is going to have to retrieve water.]
I —
[...can't exactly go outside nude, can he? Nor can he put on fresh clothes in this state. Chewing the inside of his cheek, Dimitri forces himself to stay in place and wait.]
Sorry, [Felix says as he lays a hand over Dimitri's shoulder, squeezing it lightly.] I'll be back soon.
[Though it would be prudent to change out of his bloodstained coat first... Which Felix does, leaving him in his turtleneck and pants when he takes two pails with him to retrieve water from the nearby well outside.
It takes several trips still, but eventually he manages to fill the tub properly, exhaling once he completes the task and returns to Dimitri's side.]
It's ready now. Just a warning that the water is cold.
[His relief at Felix being done is obvious. With a brief nod to acknowledge the temperature warning, Dimitri climbs into the tub, hissing. It feels wonderfully cool against his wounds, but it's definitely cold on the rest of his body. With a shiver, he at least starts washing his hands, not wanting to undo all the work Felix did cleaning him up to begin with. His nails are far too long...]
...it's colder than I thought it would be. What month is it?
[What a time to hit his final growth spurt. Dimitri's likely to put on some more muscle, but as far as his frame goes, he's essentially at his adult size at this point. It's a chance that he himself hasn't noticed yet, not until he gives his hands to Felix and sees the difference in size.]
Your hands...
[No, it's his hands, isn't it? They're bigger. No longer in that dank, dark cell, he's finally able to properly see himself. Dimitri briefly glances down at his own body, looking away after only a second. It's practically foreign to him, bigger than it should be and covered with injuries.]
[Dimitri... only noticed now, didn't he? That his body is bigger than it once was, and Felix can't help but wonder if it would have been larger if he had proper nutrition during his confinement.
No sense on dwelling on it. Shaking his head after he gives Dimitri's hands a light squeeze, he picks up the knife he keeps with him and brings it to Dimitri's nails, careful as he starts on his task.]
...You've changed.
[Not just physically, but also in demeanor. Not that Felix feels inclined to elaborate.]
[Emotionally for the most part, but if Felix is going to be polite and not bring it up, Dimitri isn't ready to address it.]
Is it frightening?
[He must look an awful mess, hulking and scraggly and covered in blood and grime. If it were anyone else, Dimitri's certain he wouldn't care in the least about that, but remembering the way Felix had just started to look at him again... it stings.]
[Frightening? Yes, but for the reasons Dimitri certainly doesn't imagine them to be. It's a physical reminder of what Felix has willingly let pass in the name of an uncertain future, of the hard times to come in light of the changes Felix is working towards.
But Felix isn't ready to lie through his teeth to avoid a misunderstanding, so he simply sets his knife down once he's done with one of Dimitri's hands and brings his knuckles to his lips, lingering slightly before he moves to pick up the knife again.]
I doubt anything could ever pull me away from you.
[Except for death, but that's a thought he can't afford to dwell on. Not when much needs to be done yet.]
[A "yes", but one Felix is too kind to explicitly voice. He truly must be a sorry sight if even Felix cannot tell him to his face. It matters little in the end, he supposes... it may even be advantageous in escaping the capital.]
...where are we going after this? We cannot head directly to Fraldarius, the road there will be thoroughly patrolled.
Indeed. We'll be taking a roundabout route through Conand.
[Felix busies himself with chipping off some more uneven ends before thinking his handiwork satisfactory, letting go of Dimitri's hand then stashing his knife away.]
We have some contacts at the border, who should allow us safe passage.
[So they had it all planned out, then. Were they just waiting, afraid Cornelia would execute them if they made a move? Dimitri almost feels like he should demand an answer, but he's just too tired. So he nods, starting in on the task of scrubbing the grime from his hair. It'll clean under his nails at the same time, which is convenient since he's not sure he'd bother otherwise. Unless Felix prompts him, he'll finish cleaning himself up in silence save for his back, which he has trouble stretching to reach without tugging at his injuries.]
[Felix rises, offering the stool to Dimitri. The silence, much as he hates to admit it, is starting to get to him, and the opportunity to do something else is something he's glad to seize, simple as it is.]
[Dimitri climbs out of the tub when prompted. Though the water didn't seem that cold when he was in, being exposed to the air has him shivering almost immediately. But he still sits on the stool and waits patiently, knowing that the cleaner he is, the better. His teeth chattering slightly reminds him to grab a clean washcloth to scrub at his teeth with, which will hopefully keep him distracted from the frigid air until Felix is done and he can dry off.]
[As Dimitri climbs out of the tub, Felix opts to remove his shirt and pants, suppressing a shiver as he sets them aside with the towels. Picking up the soap and the pail with remaining water, he makes his way back to Dimitri, looming behind him before he kneels and starts on his task.
The wounds that Felix was addressing earlier are on their way to healing at least. Thank the goddess for Mercedes' potent medicine--two more days worth of applying them and most of them should be healed over with minimal scarring.
Yet, even the prospect of them getting over this has Felix all choked up as his hands linger over a particularly nasty wound. Gritting his teeth as if it would stop him from imagining the worst, of the torture Dimitri surely underwent, he resumes with soaping Dimitri's back before he rinses it in silence.
Swallowing once he's done, Felix wraps his arms around Dimitri's waist against his better judgment, resting his forehead against Dimitri's broad shoulder as he inhales his fresh scent, willing his warmth to calm his nerves as he fights the urge to sob his irrational frustrations out.]
[It's been a long time since someone's touched him without the intent to hurt him. Being embraced so suddenly by Felix when he's nearly nude is honestly overwhelming, and he can't stop himself from stiffening up. But the warmth is something he sorely needs on both a physical and an emotional level, so after a few moments pass he leans back into it, shivering.]
It's cold, [he says hoarsely, but other than turning around on the stool so that Felix is pressed to his chest instead of his back, Dimitri doesn't move.]
[Dimitri could have attacked him. Who knows what those bastards have done to him, though honestly, Felix would not have minded if Dimitri did, knowing it fully deserved anyway. For abandoning him six months ago, however necessary, and for abandoning him the first time around, the most unforgivable fact of them all.
But Dimitri does not lash out. He just leans into the embrace, soaking up the same thing Felix is no doubt seeking. It breaks Felix's heart in its own way, and he hates how he misses the Dimitri of half a year ago, who would hug him back and stroke his hair while murmuring what he needs to hear...]
Just... please, [Felix says, blinking back tears,] for a little while...
[Stay.
A selfish request to make of someone who no doubt had been put through the most trying of ordeals, yet Felix finds himself too weak not to ask, caving into temptation as if it is the only thing that would hold him together.]
[Even though the last time he saw Felix they were both rather vulnerable and clingy, somehow, it's still a surprise to see him like this now. Dimitri glances around the room briefly as if he doesn't know what to do with himself, ultimately settling for at least grabbing a towel to wrap around his own shoulders. He may not properly indulge that request as he would have six months ago, but he does stay, going so far as to rest a too-large hand on Felix's back. Felix has always been slender and elegant, but now that they're this close, he seems so small... how his body managed to grow like this with everything that was happening is something only the goddess knows.]
[Despite Felix hoping for it, Dimitri never envelops him in an embrace, a certain thought crushing him under its weight once it dawns upon him.
Loving Dimitri as he did in the academy wasn't enough. It's foolish of him to think that a torrid four months would be enough to change things, and more selfishly, expect that they would return or resume where they left off when they reunited.
Felix's heart lurches as he continues to cling to Dimitri, sucking in a sharp breath. Does Dimitri somehow know? That Felix purposely abandoned him to this fate? It seems so far-fetched, yet it's the only other thing that comes to mind besides the numbness Dimitri must surely feel after they left Dedue...
Still, for however much Felix wants to stay like this, the autumn air is still chilly, and none of them could afford to catch a cold in this weather. So he withdraws and rises on shaky knees.]
Let's go back. I'll light the hearth then get some bandages on you.
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amewsbox2020-01-09 12:53 pm
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[Well, that's not going to be an easy position to deal with, but Felix will manage. So he gently guides Dimitri to the bed and gives him a clean cloth to chew on.
Kneeling next to his bedside, Felix will attempt to take care of Dimitri's eye once more.]
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And then immediately lift a hand like he's going to scratch his eye again, but one look at his nails has him letting it thud back against the mattress. Briefly, he wonders if there's any sort of bath here, or at least something to trim his nails with so he doesn't undo all of Felix's work. But he doesn't care enough to ask.]
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But all the same, this is the path Felix chose. And now, it's his job to pull through for both of them. Felix manages a feeble smile, leaning in again to plant a small kiss upon Dimitri's brow before he draws back again.]
...There's a bath you can use later, but I'll go and prepare dinner first.
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Don't go where I can't see you, [he finally says in a small voice. Even though he still just feels numb inside, the thought of losing Felix too makes that numbness ache like frostbitten flesh.]
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Felix swallows as Dimitri speaks those words, quick to turn his back as he rubs his eyes before the tears could actually fall. He won't cry. He can't. Not even when relief threatens to devour him whole as much as the reminder that staying with Dimitri back in the monastery has changed things. Even if just a little.]
I won't, [Felix says as he makes his way to the fireplace to boil some water before shifting his attention to the pantry, where the vegetables and meat were for soup he was planning to make.
---
Twenty minutes later, Felix sets the table with two bowls of clear soup, filled mostly with vegetables and a little game. He sets two glasses of water on it too for good measure before he returns to Dimitri's bedside.]
Let's eat.
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Even Dedue's ghost is gentle. He never howls at him like the others do.
Dimitri sits up when Felix returns, taking the bowl in hand. As he brings it to his face, he can't help but notice the absence of the spice blends Dedue favored. It makes his throat lock up too tight to actually eat, but he'll do his best to drink the broth before setting it aside. He downs the whole glass of water as well, all in silence.]
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I'll draw a bath.
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I —
[...can't exactly go outside nude, can he? Nor can he put on fresh clothes in this state. Chewing the inside of his cheek, Dimitri forces himself to stay in place and wait.]
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[Though it would be prudent to change out of his bloodstained coat first... Which Felix does, leaving him in his turtleneck and pants when he takes two pails with him to retrieve water from the nearby well outside.
It takes several trips still, but eventually he manages to fill the tub properly, exhaling once he completes the task and returns to Dimitri's side.]
It's ready now. Just a warning that the water is cold.
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...it's colder than I thought it would be. What month is it?
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Wyvern Moon, [Felix says without missing a beat, having kept it to heart.] it'll be over in three days, though.
[His gaze falls on Dimitri's hands, and the nails that are far too long on it.]
I'll get your nails for you, if you don't mind.
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Your hands...
[No, it's his hands, isn't it? They're bigger. No longer in that dank, dark cell, he's finally able to properly see himself. Dimitri briefly glances down at his own body, looking away after only a second. It's practically foreign to him, bigger than it should be and covered with injuries.]
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No sense on dwelling on it. Shaking his head after he gives Dimitri's hands a light squeeze, he picks up the knife he keeps with him and brings it to Dimitri's nails, careful as he starts on his task.]
...You've changed.
[Not just physically, but also in demeanor. Not that Felix feels inclined to elaborate.]
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[Emotionally for the most part, but if Felix is going to be polite and not bring it up, Dimitri isn't ready to address it.]
Is it frightening?
[He must look an awful mess, hulking and scraggly and covered in blood and grime. If it were anyone else, Dimitri's certain he wouldn't care in the least about that, but remembering the way Felix had just started to look at him again... it stings.]
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But Felix isn't ready to lie through his teeth to avoid a misunderstanding, so he simply sets his knife down once he's done with one of Dimitri's hands and brings his knuckles to his lips, lingering slightly before he moves to pick up the knife again.]
I doubt anything could ever pull me away from you.
[Except for death, but that's a thought he can't afford to dwell on. Not when much needs to be done yet.]
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...where are we going after this? We cannot head directly to Fraldarius, the road there will be thoroughly patrolled.
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[Felix busies himself with chipping off some more uneven ends before thinking his handiwork satisfactory, letting go of Dimitri's hand then stashing his knife away.]
We have some contacts at the border, who should allow us safe passage.
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[Felix rises, offering the stool to Dimitri. The silence, much as he hates to admit it, is starting to get to him, and the opportunity to do something else is something he's glad to seize, simple as it is.]
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The wounds that Felix was addressing earlier are on their way to healing at least. Thank the goddess for Mercedes' potent medicine--two more days worth of applying them and most of them should be healed over with minimal scarring.
Yet, even the prospect of them getting over this has Felix all choked up as his hands linger over a particularly nasty wound. Gritting his teeth as if it would stop him from imagining the worst, of the torture Dimitri surely underwent, he resumes with soaping Dimitri's back before he rinses it in silence.
Swallowing once he's done, Felix wraps his arms around Dimitri's waist against his better judgment, resting his forehead against Dimitri's broad shoulder as he inhales his fresh scent, willing his warmth to calm his nerves as he fights the urge to sob his irrational frustrations out.]
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It's cold, [he says hoarsely, but other than turning around on the stool so that Felix is pressed to his chest instead of his back, Dimitri doesn't move.]
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[Dimitri could have attacked him. Who knows what those bastards have done to him, though honestly, Felix would not have minded if Dimitri did, knowing it fully deserved anyway. For abandoning him six months ago, however necessary, and for abandoning him the first time around, the most unforgivable fact of them all.
But Dimitri does not lash out. He just leans into the embrace, soaking up the same thing Felix is no doubt seeking. It breaks Felix's heart in its own way, and he hates how he misses the Dimitri of half a year ago, who would hug him back and stroke his hair while murmuring what he needs to hear...]
Just... please, [Felix says, blinking back tears,] for a little while...
[Stay.
A selfish request to make of someone who no doubt had been put through the most trying of ordeals, yet Felix finds himself too weak not to ask, caving into temptation as if it is the only thing that would hold him together.]
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Loving Dimitri as he did in the academy wasn't enough. It's foolish of him to think that a torrid four months would be enough to change things, and more selfishly, expect that they would return or resume where they left off when they reunited.
Felix's heart lurches as he continues to cling to Dimitri, sucking in a sharp breath. Does Dimitri somehow know? That Felix purposely abandoned him to this fate? It seems so far-fetched, yet it's the only other thing that comes to mind besides the numbness Dimitri must surely feel after they left Dedue...
Still, for however much Felix wants to stay like this, the autumn air is still chilly, and none of them could afford to catch a cold in this weather. So he withdraws and rises on shaky knees.]
Let's go back. I'll light the hearth then get some bandages on you.
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