amewsbox | If I could turn back time...

[To Felix's relief, nothing out of the ordinary happens the next week. Except perhaps for some regular sparring sessions with Dimitri, brought about by his relationship with the aforementioned being on less rocky territory.

And Felix accepts it. After all, it's a regular enough occurrence even before, and it's a good way to see if Dimitri is holding up fine (he is) after their sleepover sessions are done and over with.

Unlike the months before, however, Dimitri's gaze seems to have a way of lingering upon him when Dimitri thinks Felix isn't looking. At first, Felix dismisses it as a figment of his imagination. But by the third day, it seems like he's no longer imagining it, and by the next time he has Dimitri flat on the ground, he decides enough is enough.

Training spear still pointed at Dimitri, Felix narrows his eyes at him, frowning.]

...Concentrate on the battle and quit staring at me when you think I'm not looking.

[Thrilled as Dimitri is to be able to clash with Felix again in the training grounds, realizing just how deep his affection for him runs complicates things. The way he dances with his blade is more distracting than ever — at first, it's just because of the beauty of it. But soon enough, there's something else there, too. The way he fights is different.

Felix has always been talented, but now, there's just something about the way he fights that feels out of place with the boy he's known since birth. The difference in their skill level is immediately obvious, and sometimes, there's this look in Felix's eyes that shakes him to the core. It's the look of someone that's lost everything, that fights because to put down their blade and rest is as good as death.

It's the look Dimitri sees in his own eyes when he dares to look directly at himself in the mirror.

Not that he ever has much time to study it. Felix is too good, and those ridiculously fluttery feelings get in the way, too. He ends up on his ass more times than he can count, and he never fails to be struck by how beautiful Felix is in victory. Unfortunately, it seems that Felix notices. Dimitri's already flush with exertion, but his face reddens further upon being called out. He swallows his initial bashful reaction, keeping his gaze anywhere but Felix's frustratingly pretty face as he struggles to find a way to articulate why he's watching him.

Aside from being pathetically smitten, he's not about to admit to that.

Unfortunately, Felix doesn't have the patience to wait and nudges at his chin with that spear, a move that has his heart pounding for a variety of reasons. He finally lifts his eyes and takes a deep breath.]

The way you fight has changed.

[Felix isn't sure what answer he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't that.

What a way to deflect. That isn't the true reason there, and it feels too flimsy despite Dimitri's posturing of giving it proper thought. Felix's grip tightens on the shaft of his weapon, scowl never leaving his face as he keeps the tip of the spear pointed at Dimitri.]

The hell are you--

[Then a realization hits him like a ton of bricks, far more damaging than any of Dimitri's unrestrained blows. As if Dimitri physically winded him with those words, considering how difficult it is to keep his weapon pointed at Dimitri once it clicks.

He lowers his weapon, face ashen as Dimitri's observation brings to mind what he was before... whatever this life is, really. Of course. He has not really made a business of changing the way he fights since he found himself in his younger self's body, hasn't he? Obviously, Dimitri would notice. Because it's Dimitri, and they've been sparring together since they were barely out of diapers. It's only natural that he'd pick up on Felix's additional years of experience, especially when he has not bothered hiding it.

In fact, is he even supposed to hide this? How is he even supposed to explain it? The words "I'm from the future," experimental as they are, seem to be lodged in his throat even with his disinclination to say such a ridiculous, however real, notion out loud.

Felix swallows, pressing a hand to his forehead as he looks away from Dimitri.]

The professor has been training me well.

[Not a lie, but not exactly the truth of it either.]

[In truth, Dimitri was deflecting somewhat. Felix's technique isn't the only thing drawing his eye by a long shot, but it is the only thing he's willing to discuss when their renewed friendship is still so fragile. But when Felix pales and turns his face away, visibly troubled, all the other reasons fade into the background. He pulls himself back up to his feet, carefully approaching Felix, placing a hand over the one Felix still has clutching the shaft of the training spear.]

...they are not pushing you too hard, are they?

[Felix tenses for a moment when Dimitri clasps a hand over his, but one exhale later, he relaxes his hold around the spear.]

No... not at all.

[It's Felix who is subconsciously doing all the pushing, after all.]

Let's call it a day.

[He'll have to think on how to approach their coming training sessions, though sticking to his usual would probably be his reluctant way to go. After all, Dimitri has already sensed it, and going easy all of a sudden would be an awkward, likely undesired turn of events.

Felix, at least, would feel that way should he have been the subject of such. Better that someone go at him with all their might, everything their life has to give, than at a fraction of their strength due to some sense of pride or what have you.]

[He doesn't want to let go. Felix only let him get close again for one night, but one night is more than enough to highlight the lonely distance between them. But Dimitri recognizes that "let's call it a day" for what it is: Felix wanting some space. So he only indulges himself with a brief, gentle squeeze before reluctantly drawing his hand back.]

Very well. But...

[Dimitri cocks his head to the side, grinning just a little bit.]

I will keep watching you, Felix. I'll have you on your knees again someday.

[The beginnings of pink were already dancing around Felix's cheeks at that brief contact, but with those words, it's quick to turn into an all-consuming, fiery red that even paints his ears warm.]

W-whatever.

[Goodness, all Dimitri means by that is he'll one day defeat him. Why is his mind going that direction now?! Sylvain, perhaps, has been a bad influence on him more than he realized...]

Next time, just come at me with all of your strength like the boar that you are.

[But there's no venom to the nickname, just an awkward glance away from Dimitri's grinning face, which he catches briefly as he pads towards where the training lances are kept.]

[The way Felix says "boar" almost sounds affectionate, and his smile widens even as his own face flushes. He's not entirely sure what flustered Felix, but seeing him blush affects him all the same. Dimitri retrieves his own spear and follows after Felix to put it away, allowing the giddy rush of limerence to push his worries aside for the moment. He'll still wonder later what could have made Felix change so much (training alone could never do that), but for now, he's content.]

That might not be a good idea with training weapons. I break enough of them as it is.

[Unless Felix means to grapple, which is something Dimitri's not sure he would survive with his dignity intact.]

Then we grapple.

[Felix says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world as he stashes his training spear back on the rack. With most of his calm back, he turns to Dimitri, waiting for his response, a hand on his hip.]

[That giddy rush quickly turns to nerves when Felix goes and says that. He... really has no reason to refuse, and if they're going hand to hand then the gap between them definitely narrows due to Dimitri's strength. He fumbles as he goes to put away his own spear, his blush darkening.]

Is the professor teaching you grappling as well?

No, but...

[...I have enough experience, was going to be Felix's untimely slip of the tongue, but as with his thoughts of revealing his origins, they don't seem to be willing to make it past his throat. It stops Felix mid-sentence, an awkward pause which he tries to cover up with a cough. That sounds off to his ears, but it'll have to do.]

...it might be a nice change of pace, [he says, studying Dimitri. What's he going red for...?] Knowing how to fight bare-handed is just as important as knowing how to wield weaponry.

[Then it clicks for Felix, and his brows furrow in concern.]

Did I push you too hard?

[The question is so far from what's actually wrong with Dimitri that it startles him out of his embarrassment. As far as stamina goes, after all, he's still got significantly more than Felix does — he's just outclassed when it comes to skill and has to be careful not to stretch his freshly healed wound too much. Dimitri lifts his brows curiously, shaking his head.]

No, I could still keep going.

[For quite awhile, actually, but it's probably best that he doesn't so he won't protest Felix's choice to call it.]

I see.

[And that redness is starting to fade too... Well, perhaps Dimitri is trying to hide how exhausted he is, not that Felix is inclined to push at this point considering how much he has to hide as well.]

No sense pushing it. We have tomorrow anyway.

I suppose. I should get cleaned up and tend to some paperwork, anyway...

[He looks for a moment as if he's about to just invite Felix to come along (the baths are right there, after all), but upon realizing what a terrible idea that would be, he clamps his mouth shut.]

I will see you tomorrow, then, [he says hurriedly, rushing off before Felix can ask him why he's getting red again.]

See you.

[But tomorrow doesn't come.

Or rather, it does, but the Black Eagles class is pulled into aiding Remire due to the calamity worsening--the particular date of which, Felix had forgotten. Regardless, it's familiar enough--the flames all over the village, the possessed villagers going after the throats of others less fortunate to stand in their way--

But Felix never lays his eyes on Tomas the traitor or the Death Knight as he did before. He's in the middle of knocking out some rowdy miscreants when he catches sight of a villager going straight for Dorothea.]

Look out!

[He's too far though, and his cries are lost in the wind as a sword tears through Dorothea's back.

...Or maybe not. Dorothea's still standing there, and Byleth is blocking the blade with their own. Strange that his eyes would trick him like that, especially with the horrific memory still imprinted in his mind, but it's a thought he's forced to set aside in favor of the headache that has him grabbing his head with his free hand.

He doesn't notice it when an enemy takes advantage of his distraction to cut him down from behind, a sting that overpowers the pain pounding through his head. Felix blindly swings in the direction of that swing, unsure of whether he just dealt a debilitating blow or a fatal one. Whatever the case is, he starts to stumble towards where he saw Dorothea and Byleth, knowing it's probably beyond him to do some self-healing given his state.

As the last of Felix's consciousness fades amidst concerned cries, a lopsided smile creases his expression as he wonders about how soft he's getting thanks to his changed outlook on one certain boar, expression turning derisive as he wonders if this is the extent of it, the end of what this strange second chance could manage to affect.

If so, that's rather pathetic of him, though not exactly unwarranted for a shield that had failed to protect its liege.]

[Dimitri, of course, hears about where the professor and the Black Eagles have gone before they even get back. Though he's anxious about the whole affair, he trusts in the professor's skill to bring everyone back safely.

As it turns out, he perhaps shouldn't have. Felix is half-dead when they rush him to the infirmary. Dimitri completely ignores all the reports of the actual battle and the mysterious force there, dropping everything in favor of hovering outside the door with Ingrid and Sylvain until visitors are finally allowed in to see his face the next morning. He's paler than ever, his skin practically blending in with the bandages wrapped around his torso. The fire in the room is blazing in an effort to keep him warm when he's lost so much blood, but even though they all dislike excessive heat, all three of them stay until they're kicked out for the night.

They return again the following day, but this time when night rolls around, Dimitri refuses to leave. Saying "no" to a crown prince is difficult to say the least, and since she's been worried about Dimitri's mental state for awhile, Manuela relents and allows him to stay the night. He sleeps with a chair pulled up to the side of the bed, curled over with his upper half draped across the mattress in a fashion that allows him to rest his head near Felix's hand, which he clasps tightly.]

[Felix never really gave much thought to how or where he would meet his last. Given the rate he was going, a battlefield was the likeliest place, and he'd honestly have it no other way considering the alternative has been long closed to him, mostly of his own volition.

After all, there's no purpose to a shield that outlasts the one it's supposed to protect.

Though far too soon, the burning town of Remire was a battlefield all the same, and... maybe not too bad a place to go. Careless as his last moments were, it's a fitting place for a masterless swordsman like him to meet his end.

A forgettable place with regretful circumstances.

So when he awakens to a familiar pillow under his head, it takes him a moment to place that, no, this isn't some sort of cursed afterlife. There's only the latter part of that word, "life" or perhaps "living." Still cursed in some respects, especially when it's accompanied by the heavy weight of bandages and a deep wound that hasn't fully healed just yet.

More surprising though, is the hand clasping his, and its owner sleeping right by his bedside. Felix blinks--once, then twice, just to make sure his eyes aren't fooling him the way they seem to do so a lot nowadays.]

Dimitri...? [Felix whispers, a weak rasp foreign to his ears. He'll take a moment to realize the name he just spoke, at any rate.]

[His sleep is fitful, barely more than a doze. As such, Felix's voice reaches his ears despite the lack of volume. His eyes flutter open as he pushes himself into a sitting position, keeping a hold on his hand all the while. He meets Felix's gaze, and though his amber eyes are groggy and full of confusion, he seems to be mentally present.]

Felix...

[Dimitri lifts the hand he's been holding to his face, pressing his cheek against Felix's palm with a shaky little sigh. For just a few seconds, the dark cloud that's been hanging over him the whole time they've been waiting to see what becomes of Felix lifts, leaving only joy that he's now awake. His smile is genuine, as are the tears that prick at the corners of his eyes.]

You're awake. Thank the goddess...

[Well, that wetness building by the corner of Dimitri's eyes don't seem to be a figment of his imagination at all. Felix swallows, a little taken aback at how the sight makes him want to tear up too, his body heavy with something other than everything wrapped around him.]

I'm fine, [Felix says with a crooked smile, stretching slightly to wipe that tear away.] Don't cry over a scratch like this.

[Guilt twists in his stomach, his discomfort exacerbated by the way he lies down on it. He's not worthy of Dimitri's tears by any means. Far from it.]

[Is he crying? Dimitri looks somewhat surprised briefly, lifting his free hand to touch the corner of his other eye. Sure enough, it's wet. He hasn't cried outside of when he sleeps in years, now...]

You have been unconscious for nearly three days! That is hardly a scratch.

[It's only the lightest of scolding, and Dimitri still smiles as he shifts from the chair to kneel beside the bed, putting his face level with Felix's so that he doesn't have to twist his neck to look him in the eye. Dimitri brushes his bangs away from his forehead with warm fingertips. He shifts again, resting his cheek on the mattress, putting his head in the same position as Felix's.]

[Felix's eyes grow wide at that revelation. Three days?! And here he thought he was just out for a few hours... Damn, whoever that was who gave him that wound got him really good.

Still, it's rather hard to focus on that when Dimitri is being plenty distracting, shivering pleasantly when warm fingertips brush past his cool skin. It's not only the physical warmth of it that's comforting--the smile that radiates from Dimitri is brighter than the flames that light up and warm the room, a sight that washes over his body in a similar manner as the warmth from the fireplace.

Felix returns the favor, tucking away some stray hairs from Dimitri's face.]

Go back to your room, [Felix says in an attempt to sound authoritative, though with how hoarse his voice is, he isn't doing the best job of it.] You're going to catch something lying down like that.

[He pinches Dimitri's cheek for good measure, not that there's enough force behind it due to how weakened he is.]

[Though being treated like a child by Felix is strange to say the least, the thought of leaving makes his stomach churn so violently that Dimitri doesn't linger on it for long. As easily as it appeared, the smile fades, Dimitri's forehead creasing as he lowers his lashes.]

...not yet, [he says softly.]

Just let me stay a little longer.

[Tempted as Felix is to stand his ground, Dimitri's sad expression has a way of hurting him in a manner that his healing injury doesn't. His mind wanders to what ifs it's too tired to process right now, of opportunities gone by and princes that have forever lost themselves.

If Felix stayed by Dimitri's side this whole time, could he have saved him?

Sighing, Felix files away that depressing thought for a while, letting his hand slip away from Dimitri's cheek as he blindly feels around for where Dimitri's hand might be. Cold fingers wrap around it, squeezing.]

Just for a little longer then.

[Finding the call of sleep rather inviting, Felix closes his eyes, close to surrendering himself to it.]

[Dimitri is a furnace unto himself, especially overheated as he is right now. It makes the touch of Felix's hand that much colder, cold to the point that it just worries him instead of getting his heart thumping. The fire has started to get low since he drifted off, hasn't it? He sits back up with a small frown, leaning in to press his forehead to Felix's.]

You're still so cold... I will put another log on the fire.

Mmm.

[Though the press of Dimitri's forehead against his has him warming slightly, Felix feels himself drifting off, still exhausted from the recovery process he's undergoing. So he doesn't fight whatever Dimitri is doing, letting him do as he says and pleases.]

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